What do I think about when I run

With the Paris attacks almost two weeks ago I have been thinking a lot.
About the moments when I run.
About the sense of all that.
The sense of our lives.
The little print we’re going to leave on this planet
And of course
About the sense of my writing.
And, well.
I think
We lost our path
And I lost my voice.
A little bit.

I like writing articles about why it’s better to run in the morning, or what are the seven best ways to balance work and training and life and so on.
But I also like to philosophize about the sense of life, about why we are running or why running becomes who I am.
See, when I run I don’t think that much about how I could improve my equipment for the winter – OK, except last Sunday where I was freezing in the mountains without the adequate running clothes.

No. Most part of the time
I daydream about me
Finishing my first 50 miles
Winning my first 100K
Living near the mountains
Finishing a project important for my career
I also daydream about
Finally going back to my training
And nutrition structure
And about how I could possibly change the world.

When I run

I like to immerse myself into the work of Mother Nature
And be blown away by such beauty
Feel small in this universe
And be sad about the Human, about us
Not being able to connect with our planet.

When I start to run
I am angry
Sometimes
Angry about the violence of our brothers and sisters
The brutality and cruelty people are still capable of
In the 21st century.
I am angry about us
Not being able to learn from History
And I am shocked
About us, thinking we cannot change anything
While beginning with little, small steps.

When I run
I daydream about crossing a finish line
Of an ultra race
As the first woman.
I daydream about sharing it
with my Family and Friends
Who support me along the way.

When I run
I feel like being in another place
Far from everything.
I feel strong
or weak.
I think about why I run
And why I want to stop
Or continue.

When I run
I think about writing
About the next topics
And start to write it
In my head

When I finish to run
I want to share it with someone
Or to keep it for me
Like a treasure.
When I finish to run
I realize I have forgotten
Everything I wrote in my head
But
When it’s really the one
When I finish to run
I know I will have the right words.

When I run.
Well, sometimes.
I just run.

 

Picture: HARTWIG HKD (Flickr) / CC BY-ND 2.0

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